I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
