the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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