What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize