I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
