batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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