Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
