My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
