Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
