3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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