Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
