Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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