im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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