your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
