carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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