Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
