I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
one might say we're banned from that church
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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