this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
