do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
