he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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