I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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