I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
