Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
