ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
