Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
