the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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