he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
