Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
