Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
