You can't motorboat a personality
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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