sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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