you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
