i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
