boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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