All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
