would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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