I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
