Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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