i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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