Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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