What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
