I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
