When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
