Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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