I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
