I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize