It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
