Please, let me fuck your mom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
