I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
being pregnant is like rehab
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
God I need to hump something, right now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
