I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
