For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Damn victory sex feels great
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
