Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
