I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
