I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
