He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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