My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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