he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
