you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
