Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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