We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
