I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
