Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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