drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
